I know I promised no more politics. But David Wong made a point, twice, similar to the one I made Wednesday. There's a lot more to it, too. Like the rampant, if sometimes subtle sexism that still pervades our country, and geek culture in particular. To all the women in my life, in particular the one's I game with: Kyla, Hillary, Sara, Jessica, and many others: I'm sorry. I really don't know how you must feel. I wish I could change things faster. But I strive to be part of that change. But I have hope.
Where is it? Pick up a copy of the 5e PHB and turn to page 29. Take a good long look. That's a woman in armor. Armor that still clearly shows she's a woman, but that can act as armor and not as fetish fuel. She's also not white. And last but not least, the symbol on that amulet is the holy symbol of Oghma, the Forgotten Realms god of knowledge and learning. A non-white woman is smart and looks like she could kick my ass. Call me whatever names you want, alt-right bastards, but I think that is the most awesome picture in the book!
Not a 5e fan and prefer Pathfinder? Check out Seoni on page 61. Same drill. She is awesome. And I know who I want to play her in a movie.
So here's one bit of change I'll strive to be: Ernest Cline wrote a book called Ready Player One. As many of you may also know, Steven Spielberg is making a film adaptation. There's a scene in the book that poignantly discusses this racism and sexism in a reveal that a character with a white male avatar in the virtual game world is, in fact, a black woman. And there's nothing Hollywood seems to love more than good old fashioned white washing. If they do, I plan on boycotting the film, and I suggest my fellow geeks join me.
So back to the game!
Unfortunately Alec had to work extra hours during the most recent session. But his awesome wife, Fiona, brought the kids. Shretz, who normally runs another table, was out. So adopted his orphaned player, Cat, who brought a halfling rogue named Azura.
Everyone had been leveled up to third. I took some time to help Hillary with her character. Joseph, being Joseph, ended up taking the Arcane Trickster archetype instead of Assassin. Although I had originally been planning on going two-handed, but I had opted for protection in light of the fact that no one took a tank build. But I stuck with my original Oath of Vengeance plan. This gives me bane and hunter's mark.
We took a moment to examine the orcs and discovered that one of the leaders had arrows in his back, but they were not goblinoid. Rather than look into that particular mystery, we got back to following the villagers' tracks. They led into the mountains and to a large cave mouth. A set of goblin footprints split off from the main group. Our stealthy members followed it a short distance, only to see it climbing further into the mountains. We decided to enter through the main cave entrance. Our team members with darkvision lead the way.
We saw an ogre lounging in a mud bath to our left, a whole bunch of stalagmites ahead, and a ledge to our right. Temerity used minor illusion to disguise herself as a stalagmite while the rest of us went back to warn the poor blind party members.
This turned out to be a bad idea. Goblins were waiting in ambush on the ledges, not just two our right but all around the room. Damn bastards managed to score a critical hit and bloody me. It also turned out there was a second ogre hidden in the stalagmites.
As I said, I was helping Hillary with Pusheen. She hasn't played spellcasters before, and druids can be tough. I had her heal me, then use Combat Wild Shape to turn into a dire wolf to start going around the room and killing some goblins.
Once again, Blake made me proud. Ghesh cast suggestion on the ogre in the mud bath, encouraging it to "keep your friend from attacking us." It turns out the ogres were a mated pair. Based on this video Will sent me with the subject Ogre Interaction, I can only assume the female ogre was named Meegan. Yeah. The ogre in the mud bath decided to try and seduce the female ogre in the stalagmites.
Cat was something of a boon. She was about Hillary's age, so the two got to chatting. I think it has been challenging for Hillary with the only other female at the table being Kyla, who is a good bit older than her. Cat also rolled two critical hits in as many attacks.
While the ogres kept each other distracted, the rest of us mopped up ledge-bound goblins. Grom relied on his crossbow while Pusheen just kind of stepped up a ledge, being a big old dire wolf and all. Grim made an impressive Strength (athletics) check and ran up a ledge to attack a goblin. Yes, Joseph did yell, "Parkour!" In the mean time everyone else relied on ranged spells.
For a brief period things looked bad when Meegan slapped the male ogre and turned her attention to us. I put a hunter's mark on her and prepared to fight. Then Ghesh cast suggestion on Meegan, encouraging her to go back to the male ogre. The two retired to the mud bath. At this point all the goblins were dead, and the ogres were no longer a threat. So we decided to let them be and move on. All in all, I was proud of Blake. He used a non-linear solution to shorten a combat encounter. Too bad he ended up disappointing me later.
The next cave we came to was dominated by a hollow stalagmite filled with holes. There were two heavily corroded goblin scimitars on the floor near the stalagmite. We avoided it, going through one of two other exits, finding a waterfall and a pool of water as well as a patch of mushrooms. Grom managed to determine that they were poisonous, so Temerity picked one. Now she just needs to figure out how to get something to eat it.
There was another exit out of the hole-y stalagmite room. It lead outside, further up the path leading up the mountain. We noted that the footprints avoided the cave. We opted to go back to exploring the cave on this level back from the main room.
As we were going back through the stalagmite with giant neon signs saying "Danger" pointing toward it, Blake disappointed me. Ghesh peeked into the stalagmite then shot a firebolt into it. Grom tried to stop him, and failed. Little bastard woke up a black pudding. Kyla lost it and scolded him about all the similar trouble he got the party into during Curse of Strahd. Will decided that even though Temerity could in no way have known any of that or even connected Ghesh to it in any way, that it was all in character.
This did lead to an interesting moment, however. Hillary bit the black pudding and even knocked it prone. It is a strange system, since blobs aren't immune to the "prone" condition. Probably better not to think about a blob is rendered prone: that way lies madness.
I'm especially pissed at the little schmuck. I swung at the black pudding, getting a face full of acid, splitting the messy pile into two smaller piles, and corroding my sword in the process. It now has a permanent -1 to damage.
Blake, I know you have fun instigating these little moments, but sometimes when the signs say "don't push the big red button," you DON"T PUSH THE BIG RED BUTTON!
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